glass

cold is the wind that comforts us
black the heavy dew
and we are all reptilian
prehistorical
all of a sudden
turned into rocks
small mammals
hungrily dig you up

kaboom

the women in this room are cold
antiseptic
like glass
in the desert
cutting up words and letting them fall
nothing matters
chatter chatter
feathers fall
preen & clatter
screech
and say nothing at all

goddamn the true emotion
a fool staring into the sun
slipping on shards of glass
daring the almighty but
shatter shatter
feathers fall
kaboom kaboom and
all of a sudden
nothing
I say nothing
I say nothing
at all

angels fall
a broken wall
emotions like
lone sentinels
around your castle fall
the enemy among them now
picks them off
one by one
they fall
and you
safe under your cloud of thorns
juggle bottles
and tip glasses
nothing passes
for a real emotion
when you're drinking
and you're thinking
and the price
of nothing
is all you survey

the pain is showing through the cracks
do not laugh do not laugh
will take another year perhaps
perhaps
perhaps
to say goodbye
perhaps
perhaps
perhaps

heart at the center of the world

there's a heart at the center of the world
and it burns with the beauty of the ancient voices
when you listen you can hear it
if you lay yourself down on the earth and close your eyes
you can feel it
it is beating for tomorrow

you can see it through the cracks in the earth
through volcanoes and geysers,
through earthquakes and waves
in our hearts we can feel it
it is our drum
it is saying we are living for tomorrow

but the men in black suits
with mechanical hearts
with hearts that are not beating
but ticking
they do not hear it
they do not feel it
their hearts are like clocks
and like bombs
they ratchet like stock market tickers
and machine gunfire
they run on schedule and do not flutter for love
or break when children die
their hearts do not believe in tomorrow
their hearts do not believe in tomorrow

there's a heart at the center of the world
and it burns with the beauty of the ancient voices
when you listen you can hear it
if you lay yourself down on the earth and close your eyes
you can feel it
it is beating for tomorrow

© 2004 Victor Payan. From the Red CalacArts Publications chapbook ¿Under What Bandera? AntiWar Ofrendas from Minnesota y Califas.